My mother, the Dutchess of York

When you're up, you're up
And when you're down you're down
And when you're only halfway up you are neither up nor down.
I think the Noble Duke of York (for whom this ditty is written) must have known about our mother. I think we've officially entered the hard part of this disease. She's back in the hospital, and while it's not life-threateningly serious, it's a setback. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, setbacks just help us come closer to a place of acceptance when the inevitable finally happens. But it's scary because when this does happen, it reminds me that I'm really going to miss my mom. And I already miss the things that she'll probably never be again. She may never be full of spunk and energy and ready for a day at the outlets... or maybe she will, but chances are better that she won't. It's hard to be positive and realistic at the same time and yet I know there's going to be the hospitalizations, unexpected infections and obstacles because that's just life with a complicated, and ultimately terminal, illness. Life sometimes throws curveballs as they say, but I feel like this is 100% fast ball coming right at me and I'm not ready to swing yet.