The Sippy Cup of Death: Random thoughts on parenthood
On a recent mission to find a certain toddler's flip-flops, I went into our sunroom, which, I might add, is not as glamourous as it sounds... don't think white wicker furniture and lovely tropical plants, think ceiling falling down in poorly converted carport. Whilst searching for said flip-flops, I found a sippy cup that had been left there for about a week. The contents of which was (at one time) milk. The true unsung heroes of our time are the people who clean white clumps of foul smelling dairy products out of sippy cups. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Which brings me to the celebrity tie-in you've all been waiting for... Do Angelina Jolie, Katie Did (whatever her name is), Madonna and all those other fab-looking members of the Hollywood Moms Who Take Themselves Too Seriously Club EVER clean out gross smelling sippy cups? And if they don't, do their parenting opinions and advice really hold water? I think I heard Tom Cruise or some other knucklehead (come to think of it, it was him since no one else quite so knuckle-y as he comes to mind) say something about the sleep deprivation they were experiencing with their newborn. I'm sure he and his lovey aren't exactly getting up 14 times a night to feed the little one. I'm thinking they just might have mustered up enough cash for a live-in helper of some kind. I appreciate the we're-just-like-you-little-people approach to life that he has, but somehow it's lost on me. Although maybe the altar he worships at demands not only that women give birth in silence but that they get up each and every time baby wails without disturbing the father of the baby. That would seem rational in a Tom Cruise kind of way.
But speaking of sleep deprivation, my good friend Michelle told me that when the armed forces are training people who might be captured by enemies, they prepare them (if they could actually be prepared for such an experience) by depriving them of sleep and then cranking up the sweet sounds of a wailing baby. This is done to build their psychological endurance. So where does that leave me? Am I a captive of my husband or my children? Considering my endless blather, many of you (all the many of you dear readers out there) would question my psychological endurance. Rightly so. I'll end here.
Which brings me to the celebrity tie-in you've all been waiting for... Do Angelina Jolie, Katie Did (whatever her name is), Madonna and all those other fab-looking members of the Hollywood Moms Who Take Themselves Too Seriously Club EVER clean out gross smelling sippy cups? And if they don't, do their parenting opinions and advice really hold water? I think I heard Tom Cruise or some other knucklehead (come to think of it, it was him since no one else quite so knuckle-y as he comes to mind) say something about the sleep deprivation they were experiencing with their newborn. I'm sure he and his lovey aren't exactly getting up 14 times a night to feed the little one. I'm thinking they just might have mustered up enough cash for a live-in helper of some kind. I appreciate the we're-just-like-you-little-people approach to life that he has, but somehow it's lost on me. Although maybe the altar he worships at demands not only that women give birth in silence but that they get up each and every time baby wails without disturbing the father of the baby. That would seem rational in a Tom Cruise kind of way.
But speaking of sleep deprivation, my good friend Michelle told me that when the armed forces are training people who might be captured by enemies, they prepare them (if they could actually be prepared for such an experience) by depriving them of sleep and then cranking up the sweet sounds of a wailing baby. This is done to build their psychological endurance. So where does that leave me? Am I a captive of my husband or my children? Considering my endless blather, many of you (all the many of you dear readers out there) would question my psychological endurance. Rightly so. I'll end here.
posted by Left Coast Sister at 11:02 PM
5 Comments:
hahahahahahahah...
(that's insane laughter from a fellow sleep-deprived mother). A hearty amen to all that you said, especially about Alien Tom and the likes. As if.
And the sippy cup? I have to admit, that puppy woulda been straight to the trash. I'm a wimp about some things. Not that I haven't done my share of sippy cup clean-up, but a week? Probably a tosser.
my recommendation (as a REAL MOM) is to just throw that sippy cup away! I have been there, and let me just say -- sippy cups are only a few bucks!!!! It is NOT worth it! Stop! Don't open it!!
Ditto. That's why I now, ever so wastefully and Americanly, put leftovers in plastic bags. Then they go straight to the garbage when they're bad. At least I don't have to gag-and-scrape anymore :)
ha ha ha....T Cruise....yuck yuck yuck...Almost as gross as a week old slurry of fermented milk. A cup gone a day or two, yes, more than that....TO THE LANDFILL!
oh my dear...
everytime i read your blog i think to myself 'i love d----' (i'm not swearing, i just wasn't sure if it was legal to put your name here, i don't see it any place, but to be authentic to what i always think after i read i went with the dashes...maybe i'll rethink it next time)
anyway...
i, too, clean out the week old milk cup...it is a morbid facination along the lines of 'oh this stinks, here you smell it'
& coming from someone who was a nanny to a not-even-remotely-famous-but-just-as-self-centered-woman i can tell you that they do not clean out the sippy cups, they leave them for the cleaning lady or nanny (who then leaves them for the cleaning lady...oops;)...& they also think that their lives are just as hard if not harder than other moms because they have to be away 'working' (hey i don't know about you but i'd take an airplane flight just about any place if it didn't involve 'yes the lady in front of us does have very interesting hair but please stop touching it' as a vacation)
i sound like i have some unresolved bitterness toward my former boss don't i?
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