Words to live by, sponsored by your local DMV
Had the special priveledge of going to the DMV today, accompanied by two small children. I noticed that there are common customer service themes running among all DMV office workers statewide, regardless of their location in a big city, a small town or one of those AAA offices that has DMV people in it.
1. Whatever you do, do not smile. That only makes the customers feel like they are worthy of breathing the air inside the DMV office.
2. Make them wait. If there are 15 open windows, make sure there are 15 staff members NOT working at them so that people feel very lucky when it is there turn. One tactic used by a local office is to have people take numbers like A0039 and H0126 so that no one knows how many people are ahead of him/her. It's also a good idea to have windows numbered so that the elecronic voice can read, "B0243 to window number 15." It baffles the non-English speakers. Which is a nice segue into...
3. Provide all materials in Spanish (and other languages if necessary) but look at Spanish speaking customers with great suspicion. If the customer should ask, "Speak Spanish?", get irritated, as though they've requested free registration stickers for their car. Squint your eyes (like that somehow will help your ears) and inquire if they speak English. Who knows, maybe they are just taking a poll to find out how many people speak Spanish. If you discover they don't speak English, shuffle their paperwork around and say loudly, "Pay cash or credit card?" In all transactions, act greatly frustrated and make sure your body language reads, "I am really doing you favor, senor." That will surely cross the cultural divide.
4. Have a window especially for the disabled complete with a chair, and then make sure you never use it. Require all customers 80 years old and above to totter around the office to the next available window and make them stand for the 20 minutes it takes you to ensure that they completed their forms correctly. Alternatively, you can ask them to go back to their car and double check the VIN and then take a new number and wait again in line. They should continue to work for their status as the Greatest Generation.
5. Completely ignore the baby going haywire in my arms and spend all the time in the world going over paperwork that was already approved, signed and stamped. Continue to check it, even though I'm only here to turn in my smog check paper that I didn't know I needed last time.
6. Even though your paycheck brought to you by your customers' bank accounts, make everyone feels like they should be so thankful for your services. Even though you work the Customer Service Desk, you need people to know that you really do have many more important things to do, and you are only taking care of the customers because one corner of your dark heart is a little warmer than, say, ice.
Then again, maybe it was just a bad morning at my local office. After all, they had been open for an hour already, so they'd put in their day's work.
1. Whatever you do, do not smile. That only makes the customers feel like they are worthy of breathing the air inside the DMV office.
2. Make them wait. If there are 15 open windows, make sure there are 15 staff members NOT working at them so that people feel very lucky when it is there turn. One tactic used by a local office is to have people take numbers like A0039 and H0126 so that no one knows how many people are ahead of him/her. It's also a good idea to have windows numbered so that the elecronic voice can read, "B0243 to window number 15." It baffles the non-English speakers. Which is a nice segue into...
3. Provide all materials in Spanish (and other languages if necessary) but look at Spanish speaking customers with great suspicion. If the customer should ask, "Speak Spanish?", get irritated, as though they've requested free registration stickers for their car. Squint your eyes (like that somehow will help your ears) and inquire if they speak English. Who knows, maybe they are just taking a poll to find out how many people speak Spanish. If you discover they don't speak English, shuffle their paperwork around and say loudly, "Pay cash or credit card?" In all transactions, act greatly frustrated and make sure your body language reads, "I am really doing you favor, senor." That will surely cross the cultural divide.
4. Have a window especially for the disabled complete with a chair, and then make sure you never use it. Require all customers 80 years old and above to totter around the office to the next available window and make them stand for the 20 minutes it takes you to ensure that they completed their forms correctly. Alternatively, you can ask them to go back to their car and double check the VIN and then take a new number and wait again in line. They should continue to work for their status as the Greatest Generation.
5. Completely ignore the baby going haywire in my arms and spend all the time in the world going over paperwork that was already approved, signed and stamped. Continue to check it, even though I'm only here to turn in my smog check paper that I didn't know I needed last time.
6. Even though your paycheck brought to you by your customers' bank accounts, make everyone feels like they should be so thankful for your services. Even though you work the Customer Service Desk, you need people to know that you really do have many more important things to do, and you are only taking care of the customers because one corner of your dark heart is a little warmer than, say, ice.
Then again, maybe it was just a bad morning at my local office. After all, they had been open for an hour already, so they'd put in their day's work.
posted by Left Coast Sister at 12:11 PM
6 Comments:
(I'm glad you have enough experiences and words for both of us, since my posts have dried up recently!)
There *is* something about DMVs that does this to people, doesn't it? Egads. Otoh, let me praise a)post office employees in middle east state and b) DMV workers here in Hip Small City, our new locale--they actually are nice in both locations.
But I've had more than my share of DMV horror experiences elsewhere. I've even pondered getting a job there so that I could figure it out--what it was that bred such indifference. Anyone know? Truly, I mean it--there must be something about working there (the masses? The bureaucracy?) that makes it really unpleasant.
I think I would faint if I went to the DMV and someone was actually pleasant.
Carrie
Prrrof is telling the truth. They actually do crack smiles at our DMV. I was SHOCKED! And I didn't mind going back (3 different times) when we got our new car.
patience and long-suffering, ya know.
the weird thing for me is: the last two towns i've lived in, the DMV was quick, efficient, and staffed by friendly, helpful people. it was (is) awesome, and i feel fortunate.
oh how i love you...
have i ever mentioned that?
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