Thursday, December 08, 2005

The First Post

Here we are: let the fun begin!

4 Comments:

Blogger Left Coast Sister said...

Good afternoon to me!
After a morning at the zoo (OK, it was PetSmart, but trust me, to a 2-year old it's a zoo), an ear piercing discussion about the lack of need for a nap (followed in 5 minutes by snoring in the carseat), paying bills for the month of December and missing lunch since I have limited time to complete my to-dos until my sleeping angel awakens, I'm feeling exhausted.
This is exactly why I resent being called a "non-working spouse" when we sign up for insurance or fill out paperwork for some corporate round file. Yesterday at the eye doctor, the forms requested the name of my supervisor (what are they going to do, verify I use my eyes at work??). I wrote "a 2-yr old boy". Not ever sure how I'm supposed to answer when it comes to "occupation"... It ain't 1955 anymore, and "home maker" doesn't fit me. Not to mention, I wouldn't have the first idea as to how to make a home. There's the "stay at home mom" which is a little too wordy, especially when they've left enough room for "attorney", "banker" or "chef". I guess I could just write down all the things I do during the day, but again, that's a bit cumbersome. Not to mention the fact that I'm generally filling out said form with a 2-year old in my lap or standing on my feet.
Knowing how much work it is to be a stay at home mom, I won't write "unemployed". It's not like I sit around eating bon-bons and getting massages, so I guess I can't justify stating "kept woman" either, although it's tempting just to raise some eyebrows. ("Who is keeping HER?", thinks the owner of the raised eyebrows.)
In the end, it's ME who takes issue with my occupation. There isn't a word in the English language that sums up all I do for my family at home, regardless of my lack of a paycheck. I just resent feeling like I must not be doing enough if I can't even express how I spend my time.
It was much easier to simply write "medical social worker" back in the pre-baby days. But it's also a lot easier to work with insurances and grieving families than it is to deal with runny noses, loud tantrums and the untimely diaper change. I was lucky to have a paying career that was very emotionally rewarding, exhausting though it was. Now, I am lucky to be the mom of a sweet, healthy little boy who has taught me that it is possible to love unconditionally. Now I know that crunching leaves in the fall is mandatory, that dancing is required, no matter how many times you've heard the song and that we don't always have to move as fast as we think we do.
The next time I'm asked about my "occupation", I won't be boring the asker with the darling details in an All-I-Needed-To-Learn-I-Learned-From-My-Toddler kind of way. I'll probably write "stay at home mom" and leave it at that. If someone sitting in an office all day feels smug because they are gainfully employed while I have snot on my shirt, that's fine. I won't be going to any glamorous office parties this year (which I did so very often when I was employed) and I can't errands "after work" since after work doesn't exist in my latest career. But I'll still have the satisfaction of knowing that even though it might not be the most exciting job (if you want to call it that), and it might not be what I thought I would be doing had you asked me 5 years ago, I have made a choice that is right for me. Do I have bad days? Of course. But as a social worker, life wasn't exactly one great day after another. Despite social pressures to be a mom who does it all, I haven't given in. That isn't the right choice for me and I'm learning to be OK with that.

3:01 PM  
Blogger jay are said...

You go girl!!! A big "HOO-RAY" to all us stay-at-home moms.
But this comment needs to be its own post just in case someone checking in doesn't read all the comments......This is too great to leave hidden on the comments page.

1:10 PM  
Blogger jay are said...

I see now!!! If I would have let my eyes drift a little higher I would've seen that you DID make it a post. Duh. Well, I like to start at the beginning and not cheat by looking at the later posts, so that's my excuse! :)

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jay Are, it's okay--we're newbies and just figuring out how to navigate our blog. Thanks for stopping by!

6:28 PM  

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